I’ve been hearing here and there that being a Christian seemed too easy. You can screw up and you are still forgiven as long as you pray to God?

You know, the whole “Be still and know that He is God” thing.

Well what those people have to realize is that there wasn’t anything that we did in the beginning to be “accepted” or get “into the loop” to start with. It was God and his love and Jesus’s ultimate sacrifice that we are able to freely praise him and love him. It is because He loved us first that we love him, and according there is much security in that. Through Christ, God will never let us go, he will always forever continue to love us even though we screw up or do something we will regret in the future. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, all he wants us to do is strive for wisdom and love He who loves us so.

He loves us despite (NOT because) the very fact that we are sinners, we accuse him directly or indirectly, we screw up… We can’t do anything that he can’t do.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that as long as you glorify God in all ways that you do, it doesn’t matter how you do it. In the end, the only question is: has God been glorified through the actions you have shown, do you display the love for people because the love for Christ, do people see Jesus in you?

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, don’t be afraid that He will abandon you.

Because he wont.

Ever.

I don’t know if this is for good or for bad: I’m coming back to Texas a month sooner than I had expected. My flight back is planned to be on July 10th.

I’ve been complaining and having an unexpectedly hard time in Korea for various reasons. Nothing seem to work, my mind seemed to never be in peace. I cried more frequently than ever in sorrow and loneliness, I felt helpless and hopeless at my situation and myself, and I was just so tired all the time. And although I know this shouldn’t be an excuse, but due to the little difficult time I had, I’ve ranted about people whom I never may see again after this vacation in Korea.

Coming to Korea had more meaning to me than a simple vacation, and for this trip to happen, a lot of hard work from all my family, a lot of discussion, a lot of patience, and a lot of prayer had taken place. Surprisingly, only a little was about the expensive finance problem. I mean, sure, it’s expensive, and it’s not the kind of money we can just pull out of our pockets and pay; but there were bigger subjects that mattered than monetary things.

Sounds contradicting, huh? As much as I wanted to be in Korea, to see the people, once I had it all I could do was complain and cry for what I had. But don’t get me wrong: I still like it here, just not always. I like being with some of these people, but not the other. But in the end, I still love them all, they’re still all my family who all I still pray for.

Anyways, back to the subject of flying back home early: my original flight was scheduled to be August 20th, only about 4 days from dorms of my school opening. What I hadn’t planned was jetlag. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d suffer much from jetlag, but man was I proven wrong by my trip to Korea. Yesterday marked one week since my arrival, and I’m still suffering jetlag. But I was on a waiting list to return to the state on the 12th, so I can finish buying dorm items and other things I may need.

Then my phone rang for a message that changed everything.

My brother had messaged me that my citizenship (naturalization) interview was scheduled to be on July 12th. When I called the people who worked for USCIS, it seemed that rescheduling wasn’t much of an option. And cutting an extremely long story short, I’m going back to Texas.

It’s funny how people’s consciousness works: the moment I knew I was returning to Texas much earlier than I had thought and my ~80day trip was cut into 20, I started to appreciate more things and time.

What I realized this morning was that during my week stay in Korea, I hadn’t read the bible at all. I’ve made pointless excuses like being tired and having no time to not get myself to sit and read. The result is my current discouraged self. Amazing how fragile I am without Him, how powerless I am, how weak I am without Him. But at least now I know that whatever decision that settles, I will no longer question it because in the end, God knows best what’s best for me.

If anything, I just wish I had a more loving heart, a more understanding and patient heart, and a more faithful one.

So it turns out that most likely I wont be able to attend a church for two whole months.

Yikes.

One side of my grandparents goes to a catholic church, but I refuse to go there. I’m not saying anything bad about it- it’s just not what I believe. I’m not condemning or judging; again, it’s simply just not what I want to believe, and feel it’s right.

But anyways, two whole months without going to church. I’m already discouraged by this fact. Sure, you’re not required to physically go to a church to say you’re a Christian. In fact, you’re not required to do anything. But it’s the sad fact that if I’m not physically at church, it’s harder for me to feel relieved to be in the body of Christ. That just sums up how weak and fragile I am, but I admit it: I am weak and want and need Christ in my life.

It seems I wont have a Sunday to look forward to, but I hope that He still guides me to have the same firm belief in Him and that I wont stray to somewhere I will regret.

Can you pray for me too?

After the painfully long plane ride and much sickness, I have finally arrived to Korea. What I noticed the moment I got here though wasn’t so much as excitement and joy, but the need for Christ in this country. Everyone is trying to live on their own, making a Godless life the norm, all the while making others the same as themselves.
God please come and stir a change in their hearts…

So yesterday at church, the youth group had what the senior pastor called “reconfirmation meeting.” The purpose of the meeting was to confirm my salvation and my future in heaven. The first question he asked was if I believed I were saved, and if so, when I came to such a realization. Then he continued to ask if I were to die at that moment, if I were going to heaven or hell. Lastly, he questioned what kind of place heaven was, and what kind of place hell was.

Everyone had a somewhat different opinions about the topic, but in the end, none of that mattered. We all tried to “say the right thing” and “be the right person” but all without the most important fact.

Despite everyone’s different opinions, one thing was common: we are all sinners, and in this world where Satan inevitably rules before Jesus comes, we will doubtlessly be sinners until we die and go to heaven. The thing is, heaven, which we refer to as the Kingdom of God, doesn’t allow sin because God is perfect. So what then? Can no one go to heaven? No, because Jesus died on the cross for our sins.Jesus dying on the cross always had such a meaning for me, but after this day, it meant so much more.The ever so famous verse, John 3:16, whether some people truly know the extent of this verse or not, states this:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

You see, a man with sins dying for someone else cannot clear away another person’s sin. This means that no descendant of Adam and Eve can die to save someone else. But Jesus was different- he was sent by God through virgin Mary, absolutely sinless. God had sent his perfect Son to this sinful world to die for you and me. And let me say this: Jesus dying on that cross that day is enough for everything, for he said that it is done. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do for Him, to outdo His actions. But all we have to do is believe. That’s it. Just that. Believe.

The senior pastor guided us to another verse: Ephesians 2:8-9:

8. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,

9. not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

The senior pastor asked what a “gift” was. Gift, according to dictionary.com, is “something given voluntarily without payment in return.” Here is more direct definiton given by the senior pastor: gift is free. Not something you had to work for, but something simply given to you, no strings attached. But look at that verse- us being saved was the gift of God, and that it’s not by works of us sinners, but simply given to us because God loved us so. Refer back to John 3:16- nowhere does it say we had to do anything more, but simply to believe in him and we will be given eternal life… aka a pathway to heaven.

So here’s the thing: God has done all the work for us. All we have to do is believe and receive, as John 1:12 says:

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

Maybe it’s because we’ve been given such a great thing for free that some of us, the ever so suspicious sinners, are doubting the fact that all we really have to do is accept him, to believe him. Because nothing we can do is any more than what Jesus did for us that day.

Last thing before I close this off: some may say, “Is that it? But that’s to easy for an eternal life?” Well, here’s the catch: when you say you believe him, that you received him, did you really? Completely? Reflect upon that; if truly you have received him, and the Holy Spirit is fighting within you against the evil of the world, it will show. If all He requires is belief… That’s simply ONE task that we have to execute throughout our lives. ONE thing, no more no less. Let’s do it well, because what awaits us otherwise is Hell, which all we can describe as eternal life of all the misery you’ve had in this life times a billion and more. If that doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what will. But if we simply sincerely believe in Him, then what awaits us is eternal life of all the happiness you’ve had in this life times a billion and more. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely excited.

He’s waiting.

For you, and for me.

My friend told me that she heard a sermon that really changed her mind. The sermon was based off of Joshua, if I remember correctly, and how he had to chase after a prostitute, and still oved her. She said that Joshua, at that point, was able to experience what it’s like to be God, just a little bit. Just like how the prostitute (I need to read this book. I think her name was Rahab?) ran away and did her prostitute things (not to sound silly, I just don’t know the right words to put this in), Joshua chased after her and still loved her.

Now, the comparison my friend made was that even as we prostitute our hearts away, He still chases after us and loves us.

He is that great. He loves us even if we’re slaves, prostitutes, sinners, poor… None of those factors matter to Him. He loves us the same, and it’s His love that saved us and shows mercy to us daily. What’s really sad is that once God chased us, and we repent, we are still so foolish to run away, yet again from him. This game of chase has got to end…